He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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