Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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