Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
