just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
