well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
