At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
