I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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