so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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