just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize