I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
