Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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