Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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