I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
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There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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