Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dude. I can hear the air.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
