I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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