I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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