Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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