Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
