she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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