The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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