Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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