when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
