they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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