Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
