he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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