That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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