I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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