Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
