I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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