HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just want to make out with him forever
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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