Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
