Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
