i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
