Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
