The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
