we're blogging at a bar
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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