So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
