so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
