Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The ass gains better be worth it
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