sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
