you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.