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• (904): View more from Florida

  Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (925): View more from California

  We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool

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• (310): View more from California

  You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now

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