its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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