I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.