a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
