You work out of a Hotel?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
