he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
