sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Randomize