I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
