ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
