mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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