I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
