Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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