it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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