i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize