Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am puke
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
