we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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