dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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