i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
