sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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