Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
