is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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