eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
