you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just want nice things and good sex
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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