Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize