I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
