Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize